You may be asking yourself, why? Equally, we’ll be telling ourselves why not, and before you ask, no our marketing and content departments haven’t gone slightly wacko during this second lockdown… this is a serious question worth answering!
These are strange times, perhaps the strangest of times. Life as we know it has come to an almost complete standstill. There would have to be an apocalyptic event for Teddy’s Bar to close its doors and even then you’d expect to walk past and hear somebody inebriated on the Karaoke singing “I did it my way” pre 12am. Never has there been a better time to simply sit and reflect on life’s mysteries and ponder some of the deepest unanswered questions such as, which is the best EV to own to survive a zombie apocalypse?
Picture this, a deadly virus has swept across the earth… Okay, you get the idea. However, if you are struggling to get into the zone, simply switch on euronews for 15 minutes whilst listening to Radiohead’s, OK Computer. All joking aside, we have a serious debate on our hands and in this article we are going to put across our views on the matter at hand.
The great inventory of electric cars is growing rapidly and car manufacturers alike, are beginning to shift their focus to the broader picture, with world governments rightfully putting more pressure on companies to change tack and focus their efforts on slowing down global warming, thus, taking more consideration for the planet and improving the worlds air quality. The roll out of electric vehicles to supersede fossil fuel vehicles will play an almighty part in our quest to save the one thing that gives us life. Thats the serious bit over with, let’s get back to zombies vs electric cars!
We’ve narrowed our selection down to eight vehicles to represent a varied mix in both size, USP, manufacturer and price point. Though, we certainly welcome your views and opinions as to which electric vehicles you feel would be best equipped to survive a zombie apocalypse.
The 7 main areas we’ll be grading are vehicle range, to escape infested cities and travel further; vehicle speed and acceleration, to be able to escape danger quickly; habitability scored out of 10, incase you need to set up camp and hide in the vehicle for long extended periods; stealthiness scored out of 10, based on your ability to escape and drive off the beaten track, staying hidden and out of sight. We’ll also factor in the vehicles defence capabilities, in terms of shell, armour and protective features as well as, vehicle modes and special features which might help to keep you alive both physically and mentally during a particularly challenging period in history, scored out of 10. Finally the vehicles special unique power.
Elon Musk’s, The Tesla Model S boasts the furthest range of our 5 vehicles with an incredible 405 miles on one charge, meaning it can drive the furthest away from any infested areas during a zombie apocalypse. The Tesla by nature is packed full of incredible features and modes, including ‘camp mode’, for when you have found a safe place to hide. Pop on the digital LED campfire which may help you to relax and block out the Gotham city-esque crazed world outside. You may even get a reasonable night’s sleep. The Bio Weapon Defence Mode, sounds like it’s straight out of the game Fallout and is absolutely vital during the event of a zombie apocalypse, so that you don’t become infected yourself. The Tesla’s vehicle automation features are on another scale, with the ability to summon your car to drive towards you, in order to gain that extra few meters when running from a herd of crazed zombies. Alternatively, you could stand far away from the vehicle and trick the zombies into thinking you are driving it as a distraction. This feature alone might just save your life in the unlikely (though we say that word now, with a sense of circumspect) event of a zombie apocalypse. Of course this vehicle is a contender, this is Tesla we are talking about!
Read more about the Tesla Model S here
The Harley Davidson Livewire has a reasonable range and is the choice of vehicle for Charley Boorman, who has ridden this bike the length of South America with companion Ewan McGregor, putting it in good stead as the vehicle of choice to survive a zombie apocalypse. However, its main flaw is it doesn’t have a roof or provide any form of temporary home or shelter, thus giving it a none- existent habitability factor. However, it scores highly on stealth; I mean its a motorcycle, you could drive this thing through a shopping mall and up an escalator to make quick escapes and to help you to travel the city reasonably undetected. However, it might also be one of the noisiest vehicles of the pack, meaning we couldn’t score it any higher than an 8 for stealthiness. LiveWire comes with four pre-programmed modes: sport, road, range, and rain, along with three ride modes the rider can customise; ‘and let’s face it’, it’s always raining in zombie movies, so what better than a rain mode to improve your handling! Reflex Defensive Rider Systems; that title alone has certainly convinced us that this electric motorbike certainly packs a punch in the fight against zombies. However, as far as a protective shell; any bike would leave little in the way of defence against a zombie attack, so make sure you have a good helmet. However, the idea of riding a Harley Davidson whilst slaloming through a herd of crazed zombies on route 66, sounds quite a thrilling proposition!
Read more about the Harley Davidson Livewire here
Why is the Honda E in the mix i hear you ask? For no other reason than this vehicle looks super cool! Admittedly this is a subjective opinion however, It’s as though this car entered a portal sometime in the mid 80’s and has been circling around in an evolutionary abyss ever since, only to reappear in the midst of a global pandemic, which is 2020. The Honda E has almost been designed with one eye on the movie screens and almost defines the nature of the phrase, ‘Back to the future’. We could certainly see Will Smith hurtling through the abandoned streets of New York City, taking out a few zombies along the way. If you do find a moment to relax, the Honda E has it’s own built in digital Aquarium! Okay, it’s pretty middle of the road in terms of whether you’d survive a zombie apocalypse owning this vehicle but national treasure Guy Martin owns one, so we’d be willing to take that risk!
To read more about the Honda E click here
You’d certainly never see Hobbs & Shaw in a manic speed chase, smashing up a couple of souped up Smart EQ Fortwo’s, though stranger things have happened. Equally, trying to visualise a swarm of zombies chasing this vehicle through the streets of New York is actually quite a comical thought. It’s as out of place as Sammy the Singing Salmon, at the church alter. However, there is something quite charming and down to earth about the prospect. The Smart mini cars have always been city cars and never boasted to be anything other than. We couldn’t not include the smallest EV on the market and a company who have always strived to be a little bit different from the rest. However, we doubt you would need to worry about the availability of inner city street parking in the event of a zombie apocalypse. It’s the smallest car in our list and possibly the quietest, so scores reasonably highly on stealthiness if you temporarily need to hide behind a large waste bin. The Tridion Safety Cell is the vehicles secret weapon which acts like a race car roll cage to give the driver ultimate protection. Although in the event you did roll the car, there are 25 zombies now heading straight towards you and it’s possible you may be on foot from now on! Luckily, when the coast is clear, you might well be able to head back to the car and tip it over again.
Read more about the Smart EQ Fortwo here
The MINI stands in good stead and has good genes in terms of a car that seen its fair share of high speed action. MINI is an automotive legend, a British born and built icon and will forever be associated with the classic scenes in The Italian Job, like Sean Connery to James Bond. A true silver screen machine, though one thats never quite given us the same level of pizzazz in the latter years. We can never deny the success of the MINI in terms of sheer sales, perhaps partly driven by pure stylistic nostalgia. However, we bet it’s never been reviewed on how well it would fare, in the event of a zombie apocalypse!
Frankly, there isn’t a great deal of cool stuff in the MINI to keep you blissfully unaware of the danger and doom surrounding you at ever corner. There is certainly no Bio Weapon Defence Systems in place. In fact, about the most exciting thing to change is the colour of the start button to yellow. Though, if needs must; like escaping a 5 star police scene of chaos and carnage on GTA 5, we would still drive the nippy little number whist imagining the voice of Michael Kane telling us “we were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off”.
To read more about the Mini Electric click here
Now we are getting serious, and who doesn’t love a pick up truck! Rivian state this is “a truck built for whatever you call a road” which is the perfect statement when trying to convince somebody that this is the best EV to own to survive a zombie apocalypse! With 300 miles of range in a vehicle packed with muscle and grit, its already a contender! This is a vehicle destined for the ultimate adventure, with the ease of driving across difficult mountainous terrain and setting up camp far away from danger! Like the Tesla, this vehicle has a number of tricks in its trunk, including Driver+ which is made up of 11 cameras, 5 radars, 12 ultrasonic sensors and a 360 degrees field of vision, which in turn gives you totally automated driving experience where your car will steer by itself, automatically adjust speed and change lanes on your command! This is the perfect solution whilst you focus on shooting and shaking off of a handful of those advanced zombies, that have learnt to drive cars and are chasing you down! Rivian state that ‘In our early years while operating in stealth, we hid our EV powertrain beneath the body of other trucks so we could test its robustness undercover’ showing that this vehicle is stealthy by it’s very nature! For it’s size, It doesn’t even fall short on speed with an admirable 0 – 60 in just 3 seconds. This vehicle seems to good to be true in the fight against zombies, we won’t even go into that Tank Turn, you just need to see this for yourself!
To read more about the Rivian R1T click here
The second Japanese contender in our list, is the Aspark Owl, which is not only the fastest contender in our list but currently the fastest full electric hypercar in the world, at 0 – 60 in less than 1.7 seconds! The range isn’t too shabby either at 280 miles. Its also the closest car in the list to resemble batman’s bat mobile! However, we are starting to think the zombies would be the least of the danger, with the temptation to let loose and go crazy in this car through the abandoned city streets; We do question how long it would be before the vehicle ends up a heap of crushed metal in the middle of a zombie ridden Times Square, making you easy Zombie fodder! There is currently very little information out there about the full capabilities of this vehicle, and other than pure speed and exssillerense, we are struggling to find how this vehicle might help you survive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. However, faced with that situation we wouldn’t blame anybody for choosing this vehicle for the pure fun factor!
To read more about the Aspark Owl click here
It’s as though Elon had designed this car, purely to feature in this article. The Tri-Motor all wheel drive Tesla Cybertruck is yet to hit the mean streets, though is due to be released in winter 2021. The almost extraterritorial, futuristic design would have you believing this vehicle had been summoned through Doc Browns time portal from the year 3021. The Cybertruck is built with an Exoskeletal shell made for ultimate durability and passenger protection, so you just know its ready for some zombie crushing! Your heart rate will remain nice and steady whilst navigating through herds of rotten flesh-eating corpses, with smooth jazz playing to soothe your soul. The Tesla armour glass and Ultra-Hard 30X Cold-Rolled stainless-steel structural skin has got you covered. Sit back and watch herds of zombies tear off their own arms in utter frustration, whilst you slowly tuck in to a pink lady apple, imagining the soothing sound of the lady from the M&S adverts muttering, “This is not just 500 hungry zombies trying desperately hard to break into my EV and eat me alive, this is 500 zombies failing epically, whilst I watch through the glass armoured glass of my Tesla Cybertruck”
This vehicle is surely the ultimate zombie destroying, apocalyptic surviving, monster machine!
To read more about the Tesla Cybertruck click here
Wooden Spoon – Smart EQ Fortwo
Let’s face it, the power grid is always down in the murky setting of a post nuclear zombie movie or game. The petrol stations are all fire, blowing black smoke into the atmosphere and if the zombies don’t kill you first, the poisonous smog and air quality certainly will! Luckily for you this article is in set in the year 2040 and the world of energy has drastically moved on since the days of fossil fuel reliance, with the ban on the sale of fossil fuel cars 10 years prior. The renewable technology available to be able harness energy from the sun and wind means you can generate your own electricity without the need of the grid, in order to live, survive and keep your vehicles charged. The ability to move around would be more vital than ever in search of food, water and a place to hide. However, public charging stations which rely solely on the national power grid would be out of action, therefore you’d need to rely on Eco smart chargers such as the zappi, which are compatible with renewable energy sources such as solar and wind generation. In fact if you could strategically place zappi chargers in safe locations around the city, all hooked up to solar PV systems, so that you will never be caught short and run out of charge.
So, which do you think the best EV to own to survive a zombie apocalypse? Have we missed any major contenders? Are our scores totally wrong! Drop us a line on our social media channels and let us know your thoughts.
Until then, may the odds be ever in your favour ✌🏼